Wednesday, December 15, 2010

IMPORTANT LEGEND TO SURGICAL DRAWINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

VERY IMPORTANT

I was alerted tonight to a confused and somewhat pornographic perspective on my magnificent little drawing of surgical incision lines.  So I would like to be very clear:

1.  PURPLE LINES IN MY DRAWINGS ARE INTENDED TO REPRESENT A PURPLE SURGICAL PEN

2.  THE PURPLE LINES ON THE CHEST AREA OF THE FIGURE ARE INFRAMAMMARY INCISION LINES, FOR THE SUBMUSCULAR INSERTION OF IMPLANTS.  JESUS, THEY ARE NOT BREASTS.  IF I WERE USING THIS BLOG FOR POORLY DRAWN PORNOGRAPHIC SELF-PORTRAITS I WOULD NOT DRAW **PURPLE** BREASTS.  AND EVEN IF I WAS WERID ENOUGH TO DRAW SOME KIND OF PATHETIC LITTLE PURPLE ALIEN BREASTS, PRESUMABLY THEY WOULD HAVE NIPPLES.  I MAY HAVE MILD DYSMORPHIA BUT I DO NOT BELIEVE MYSELF TO HAVE PURPLE NIPPLELESS BREASTS.

3.  THE PURPLE LINES ON THE ABDOMINAL AREA OF THE FIGURE ARE ABDOMINOPLASTY INCISION LINES, AND THE SCRIBBLY LINE IS THE PORTION OF SKIN THAT WILL BE CUT AWAY.  THE SCRIBBLY LINE IS NOT PUBIC HAIR, PARTICULARLY NOT PURPLE PUBIC HAIR.  I HOPE NO ONE HAS PUBIC HAIR THAT GOES UP TO THEIR WAIST, AND PARTICULARLY NOT PURPLE WAIST-HIGH PUBLIC HAIR.

So, just to ensure clarity, for any future drawings meant to suggest the use of a purple surgical pen, I have prepared the following legend:

3 comments:

  1. Shouldn't the incision lines be blood red? Or do you not have a red crayon? Surely they must have nice big boxes of Crayolas next to the pain killers and weight loss pills at the drug store!

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  2. thank you for this blog. i read it every day for my daily laugh.

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  3. Hahahahaha, best citation ever

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