4 Weeks!!!

Sorry Darlings I know its been a while since Boxhead's last post, but things have just been so BUSY.

4 weeks since the surgery now.  I'm half way through the time of using the beautiful compression garment, 3/4s of the way to being able to go back to active yoga, and really, REALLY happy with the results:

In case any of you are wondering why the belly button incision still looks kind of red, its because it has to be streteched all the time in order to heal round as the incision scar tissue grows.  Ordinarily people wear a marble taped in their belly button.  Mine is a little too small for the marble to fit, so I've switched to a lip balm cap.  One reader will recognize the lip balm that the cap comes from, as she's been trying to steal it for the last few years.  Ha, now there's no cap! :)

The breasts are still D's, or at least in about two thirds of the bras I try on.  While there's still a tiny bit of swelling left that will gradually go over the next six months, they're pretty close to their real size now.  Apparently the smallest of the cohesive gel implants ends up being a full C / small D on my frame size.  They look quite normal though, not stripperesque.  If they looked like stripper breasts we'd be taking the implant out and starting over. 

Speaking of stripperesque, Boxhead went to the Taboo show on the weekend, hoping to see a huge presence from Liberator and all their lovely cushions and other products.  I was also expecting a whole range of nice, high quality restraints and leashed collars to keep Boxhead away from drugs and fatty foods in the next surgery.  NO!  It was an epic DISASTER.  End to end the show was like a bargain bin reject sale at some Ozark cousin-lovin' version of Frederick's of Hollywood.  Dollar-store nightmare.  Shudder.  Predictably, Boxhead scuttled out quickly.  

To console myself over the hideousity of the Taboo show, Boxhead got THIS at my 4 week checkup!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YES Angels it IS a short-scar facelift quote!!!!! I do recognize that few of you cheap b*tches actually voted for a facelift so far.  You didn't really think that Boxhead would pay attention if you voted against the things I wanted, did you?  And before you flood the comments with counseling referrals, deep breath.  A short-scar facelift is a PREVENTATIVE surgery, not a Nancy-Regan-style old lady facelift.  Short-scar facelifts are a teeny procedure that deals with the underlying facial musculature, helping people to not NEED an actual real facelift for another 20 years or so.  I'm not saying I'm doing it tomorrow.  I just adore getting quotes for plastic surgery.  Next visit I may get a vaser sculpting quote too.

Hyper-careful, ultra-cautious eating continues. Not that I wasn't a bit of a vegetable freak before the surgery, but I'm all the more conscious of nutrition now.  For the first time in memory I LIKE how I look, and I don't want to mess it up by eating the wrong foods.  Yes, we all know that Boxhead has a tendency to be just the *tiniest* bit obsessive, but this is what I used to look like in my imagination:



Even I have to recognize that I don't look exactly like that now.  To me, the improvement in self-image outweighs the slightly psycho focus on nutrition and caloric intake.   I am careful...I use the UDSA's food pyramid tracker to follow my energy burn and food intake, and I have a precious food-cop keeping a sharp eye on whether or not I'm eating enough. 

One set of early scar photos is up on the lipofat site, I'll post more tonight and then carry on with that about weekly (or maybe every two weeks if the changes are really minor) for those that want to see the scars and are considering their own surgeries.  Remember, DON'T GO TO LIPOFAT if you aren't up for seeing the early-stage scar pics.  

http://cybersatanlipofat.blogspot.com/

Love, more soon.

XOXOXO

Boxhead

Adventures in Botox-land

Today Boxhead went to the lovely Dr. Boey at Arbutus Laser Centre for botox and to pick up some of the many creams, lotions and potions necessary to keep my cardboard face supple and moisturized and healthy.  Here Dr Boey is protecting Boxhead from developing one of those nasty corrugated frown lines that is such a problem for boxes.  This may be Boxhead's first botox injection, but like surgery it assuredly won't be the last.

It will surprise few of you that Boxhead subscribes to the e-mail newsletters of all the top Canadian and US plastic surgeons.  I like to keep pace with new procedures, who is doing how many procedures combined into one, what new techniques are being introduced, etc.

Naturally, as a superfattie, the new Zerona weight loss laser is one (among the several options) that caught my eye in a recent newsletter.  I'm woman enough to admit I was wrong in my former approach to liposuction - I ADORE it.  Still, whereever its possible to lose some of the chubb in a closed, painless, non-surgical procedure, all the better, no?  There's just soooooo many surgical rules and lame protocols about how often a patient can have lipo and how much fat can be taken at a time...yawn.  Meanwhile, Zerona is used in conjunction with a medically-supervised supplement named "Curva" which they claim will collectively skim ugly fat deposits from the body and reveal its true shape!!!   I've always thought it would take an excavator to reveal Boxhead's true shape, but perhaps not.

It always amuses me when companies don't bother to do a basic word-search.  I google Curva to learn more, and the VERY FIRST THING I find is that curva is the Romanian word for slut.  Well, excellent! In Russian, it is the slightly more nuanced bitch-slut.  Regardless, if Curva works, Boxhead would have no qualms walking up to the pharmacist and asking for my prescription of Bitch-Slut without batting a botoxed eye.  If something helps in weight loss, call it anything other than Rachel Uchitel.  That would be going too far, even for fat liquefication.

Boxhead likes to have a mental image to associate with products.  A beloved and VERY brave reader took the risk of permanent mind scarring by searching "fat Romanian sluts" to find and give us this picture:

Even I will accept that I am slightly slimmer than this person.  Still, it is a nice image that will help to keep Curva top of mind for our next surgical visits.

No matter what Zerona / Bitch Slut or the range of other fat loss lasers out there might do for me, Boxhead is also impressed with the copycat products available on the internet.   You know there's some efficacy when there are copycats.  Without so much as a prescription OR the accompanying laser treatments, "Curva Trim" (look it up) promises a 3 pound per week weight loss PLUS clearer skin, larger, firmer breasts AND improved libido and sexual functioning, all for $39.95, or $100 for a multi-bottle supply.  3 pounds a week!!!!  How could we not believe in this?? And I could lose 10 lbs before I'm even allowed to go back to working out after the abdominoplasty.  Exciting, no?  At least as an alternative until more of you change your votes to vaser sculpting.

Love you Angels,

XOXO

Boxhead

Tape Removal. The Scars are Awesome!

15 days and life is gradually returning to normal.  Or more-normal compared with the last two weeks.

The surgical tapes came off today and I'm simply overjoyed with the results.  As soon as I can I'll take some good scar photos for those of you that are considering similar surgery and post them on the lipofat site.  For now here's one (not showing scars) taken at the follow-up appointment.  I'm swollen still, and the skin is kind of mottled and lined from the compression garment, but still.  I'm happy:

For 15 days, the abdominal and breast scars are incredible...surgical artwork really.  They're fine and relatively smooth and will heal to almost invisible.  I start three months of silicone scar therapy now, which helps them to heal flat and smooth and small.  It takes 6-9 months to complete the healing process, and if its needed then I can get some lasering or other procedures to help the scars disappear even more.  From what it looks like today though I probably won't need it.  Yay.  In a week I'll also start to round my belly button back out by taping a marble in it for a few hours every day.  Sounds silly, but it really works.  That's how all belly buttons are made round again after surgery.

Soon I can go back to compulsive exercise and street drugs and of course that rough loving that keeps my butt so bruised all the time.  ;)  You can decide which one(s) of those to believe.

Boxhead had to celebrate the magnificent scar findings by keeping up the good nutrition that is so critical to healing.  Mojitos and a salad, naturally:

Still terrified of the fat content in anything more than an apple though, Boxhead went to Whole Foods and bought...can you guess...apples!

As you can see, the breast swelling is going down nicely and I look normal rather than like a cartoon character.  And NO, seeing boxes out shopping at Whole Foods is not cartoonish - its just daily life.  You people don't get out enough.

Love and kisses darlings,

Boxhead

Two Weeks Today! This Time An Actual Surgical Update

14 days from this very minute, surgery had started and I was on my way to the most amazing makeover of my life.  I had wanted this surgery for so many years, but didn't understand really how fabulous it was going to make me feel.  This picture of the stomach above the belly button is from yesterday.  There's still swelling and distortion...that will last several weeks yet...but to me it looks amazing.

Two weeks.  The liquor embargo is over today, so technically I could be snarfing down the Breakfast of Booze from Epic Meal Time (http://www.youtube.com/user/EpicMealTime#p/u/4/wZDv9pgHp8Q  this is offensive, don't visit unless you're amused by really gross foods being prepared by an overbearing ass). 

Liquor is off-limits for four weeks perisurgically; peri meaning around so two weeks before and two weeks after, as it increases bleeding and bruising.  Boxhead has been 4 WEEKS without a mojito, which previously was my natural source of hydration.  The DTs and other withdrawal symptoms at the beginning weren't so bad.  Now I'm not sure if Boxhead can go back to indulging myself Hoff-style because of the calorie impact. 

Its still another four weeks (6 weeks total) until I can go back to full exercise, using salt and using recreational street drugs and nicotine.  Any kind of lifting exercise could harm the inside healing within my breasts and stomach, and we don't need that.  Street drugs and cigarettes can cause necrosis (death) of the healing skin, and that isn't an attractive concept either.  Salt increases post-op swelling, and the swelling that comes from procedures this extensive is really quite enough without salt.

I can forego the street drugs and cigarettes and can even (with difficulty) stay off salty foods, but I can't be entirely without exercise.  So, naturally, Boxhead has come up with a clever plan!   As the pain (discomfort) has subsided, I have been experimenting with exercises that only engage the leg and butt muscles...plies and grande plies (ballet squats), the warrior poses and similar.  Yes, it looks ridiculous still being a little bent-over from the abdominal surgery and doing plies, but nobody sees me and this way my leg and glute muscles don't lose tone.  I want them toned for when I get that thigh and butt lipo.

Now, for those of you whose fingers are already itching to start in with with suspicious electronic lectures accusing me of violating the post-op rules, Boxhead HAS checked with her surgeon's office. HA! Provided the exercise doesn't engage the abdominal muscles or in any way affect the pectorals and breast lift / implants, its fine.  Granted, its a little early, but it isn't like I'm doing hours of these exercises yet.  Its good to be active.  God, some people that get this surgery are still languishing around in a painkiller haze...I suspect these are valium freaks though using surgery as a way to gain access to a new drug.  I would seriously kill myself if I couldn't be a little bit active.  Sure I get tired easily, but tired is better than suicide ideation, no?

The surgical tapes (steri-strips or micropore tape that protects the incisions) are starting to loosen.  These usually remain in place for about 12 days, and given that its the weekend I don't have a follow up appointment until tomorrow.  Late last night I cut away some of the loose ends of surgical tape, and the small areas of incision that were revealed are astoundingly kick-ass.  Smooth and nice and narrow.  No rumpled area at all on the far left side and the teeniest one on the right, which is evidence of such careful surgical close.  Normally the furthest edges of an abdominoplasty closure appear as a little 'dog-eared' at the start, and then gradually smooth out over 6-9 months post-op.  We'll see what the rest of the incision looks like tomorrow and I'll post photos on the Lipofat site for those that want to look.  Of course its a big incision that goes from hip to hip, and it won't be pretty until it fades away to just a thin white line.  But in the realm of abdominoplasty incisions, this one looks awesome.

The breast tapes also come off tomorrow, so I'll be able to see how the peri-areolar incisions are too.  That's the kind that heals best, with the least visible scarring over time.  I really didn't want the frankenstein-style major breast lift scarring, but since I luckily didn't ever have major breasts I could get away with the around-the-nipple style of operation.  For those of you that may be contemplating a larger breast lift procedure, even the scary-assed frankenstein scars do fade over time.  And scars just open up another surgical or treatment avenue:  scar revisions, scar lasering, etc.

I honestly couldn't be happier.  Even this far in, the surgery makes me feel so much better about me.  When I tried on bras the other day, I actually felt attractive (exhausted, but attractive) and I don't know if I've ever felt that way before.  Certainly not in many years.  Even though I'm still swollen and a little bruised and taped up, I feel so much better...its like having years of therapy AND magically looking better at the same time.  Yes, there is a few weeks of discomfort, and a few days of mild actual pain, and then about 6 weeks to complete recovery.  WORTH IT.

I've heard of so many people languishing around complaining about pain, spending a week or two in recovery, using ice to stop the throbbing of their breasts etc etc.  I totally understand that people have different pain thresholds (or, stated differently, that many people are whiners).  I'm the first to support a hard morning's bitching and complaining whenever it makes sense.  This combo surgery is the biggest one there is short of reconstruction-style extreme makeovers, and it genuinely hasn't been been bad at ALL.  For those of you that want this operation (and I know at least four of you do), pain should be the least of your concerns.  Unless of course you are whiners that have cleverly managed to conceal that side of yourself from me all these years. 

Pictures later today and then again tomorrow after the tape removal.

Last thing, an update on the endometrial ablation from earlier in December.  LADIES, DO THIS.  IF YOU HAVE TO FABRICATE A FEMALE PROBLEM, GET IT DONE! I'm having my first post-ablation 'period' and it is seriously nothing.  People aren't even supposed to realize the full results of an ablation for 3 months or so until the uterus is entirely healed, but for me it is incredible.  I can't even imagine how good it will be 3 months from now.  Best thing ever, thank you my heroes Dr. V and Dr. W.
Love,

Boxhead