"The First Half Pound Is Always the Hardest" (Furious Pete)

Zeltiq takes two months to realize full results, but I promised to put up photos at 2, 4, 6 and 8 weeks to keep track as some of Boxhead's fat is lasered away.  So here goes:

I can't see a lot of difference yet.  But then I'm the dysmorphic one...I'm relying on my credible / trusted viewers to decide whether or not there's a difference after the 8 weeks are up.  My eyes tell me I get fatter every day.  So fat in fact that my massive panniculus pools down onto the ground and I can sit on it like a beanbag chair.

From the side in jeans you can see the pudge / muffin delivery truck over the top of my waistband.  Fairness and scientific accuracy forces me to acknowledge that it is Day 25 of my female cycle so there is a modest possibility of a tiny bit of bloating.  Not a muffin delivery truck's worth of bloating mind you. 

And on the point of scientific accuracy, to those of you (code initials might be any of SLK, JRK, DJW, KKB, PL, DRV...) that have had the snark and audacity to accuse Boxhead of bias in these postings, STOP LYING.  Please explain how the flawless truth of my fat displayed in photographic evidence can be biased.  Exactly.  It can't.  I rest my gigantic panniculus.

These next three show the front and size views without jeans to compress and disguise the flank fat.

Its hard to take these pictures myself...I do realize they aren't the best.

In abdominoplasty recovery, its 13 weeks now.  Dr C says I can return to most exercise now.  The feeling of tightness in the muscles can be stretched out without harming anything.  It may hurt but it won't be doing harm.  "Without overdoing" I can go back to barre and kundalini and other more-active forms of exercise.  Um...dude...overdo?  How do you think I got that fat in the first place?

On the weekend I was reading the Georgia Straight (local Vancouver paper) and saw an ad for SMART LIPO with some Dr in City Square Mall.  I have to check to see if this person is remotely qualified to do cosmetic procedures and if so what he has to say about the safety of this kind of fat removal.  As much as you nutters all think I'd have liposuction performed by a cab driver in a Mexican back alley if he promised massive fat extraction, I am very fussy about going only to highly experienced, highly qualified surgeons and dermatologists.  Smart Lipo is the injection lipolysis procedure that the American Society of Plastic Surgeons, American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery and the American Society of Dermatologic Surgery have all issued health warnings agains. Are these guys hypercautious party-killing bureaucrats or is there a legitimate health risk?  Who knows.  Boxhead will investigate and advise in a future posting.

So far so good on Zeltiq though.  The numbness of the first post-treatment period is gone.  I like to imagine the procession of dead fat cells exiting my body every day.  I'm relatively content for now, but I don't want any of you thinking that I'm done with fat removal for the long term.  Seriously, who wouldn't want vaser liposculpting for example??  Vaser is to fat sculping what the topiary trees were to Tomorrowland in the 80s. Sure, I COULD stop stuffing my face with so much food and get up off my ass from time to time, but where's the fun in that?

For anyone that doesn't know the title reference, its a quote from Furious Pete the champion anorexic / competitive eater.  You can watch him eat a pound of butter (Boxhead's typical breakfast) at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8pSm-uRr7gk.  The first half-pound really IS the hardest.

Til two weeks darlings,

Love
Boxhead

10.5 Weeks and Zeltiq

Yesterday Boxhead had a Zeltiq coolscuplting (aka fat-killing) laser session with the lovely Dr Boey and Jen at Arbutus Laser Centre (http://www.arbutuslaser.com/).  Zeltiq is the laser that actually kills fat cells through the application of laser-generated cold (cryolipolysis).  No clue how it works, except the machine sucks tissue into a giant wide-mouthed vacuum aperture, freezes the fat without affecting the skin, and then over the next two months the fat cells gradually die and go away.

You can see the Zeltiq coolsculpting website at http://www.coolsculpting.com/en-ca/for-me.cfm. I found it a bit disconcerting that they use Rachel Ray to promote the system...the woman cooks and eats all the time and is frankly a bit of a fat ass.  Yet, if Zeltiq is the fat-removing laser that Dr. Boey choses to have in his practice then I trust its efficacy.

Here's the machine.  The heart drawn on it is mine:

First, you get the most massive pair of paper shorts ever available on earth.  They are HUGE.  If anyone goes for Zeltiq and the shorts actually fit, you might want to try...say... 6 or 8 years of diet and exercise before getting started.  I kept the shorts for an at-home photo after treatment because they were so massive.  I'd just had a bath though and the mirror is steamy:

Wearing these styling shorts, the fat is measured and photos are taken.  The amount of fat and the area of the body being treated dictates what size attachment is used to suck the tissue and fat up into the nozzle of the machine and to apply the freezing cold laser.  Brrrrrr.  Larger fat areas get a bigger attachment.  Naturally I used the super-mambo-gigantica attachment, made specially by Zeltiq for people of my size and weight.

The treatment areas are shown here in a tremendously unflattering before picture. You can see why I need Zeltiq and all possible forms of cosmetic intervention.  Yes, the iron bruising is still quite attractive, thank you all for noticing.  DO NOT SAY THAT THE CIRCLED FLANK AREA IS NOT FAT YOU PACK OF GIANT LIARS.  If I hear "skin not fat" another time Charlie Sheen and I will fight you in my octogon.  My side fat is huge and you know it.  But not for long.  Yay Zeltiq. #tigerblood.

Once the photos are taken, a VERY cold wet treatment pad is applied to the skin area on one side, and then the machine is attached.  The pad is genuinely the worst part of the whole process.  Its really cold, like a wet ice pack applied to bare skin...you will jump a little, but the feeling goes away quickly.  Then the machine is positioned and turned on, and it feels like your skin / fat are being sucked into a gigantic vacuum cleaner.  I described it to some people yesterday as being in the super-grip of a very cold giant octopus.  The machine feels chilly on the skin area, no doubt.  It isn't remotely painful though.  It's just kind of cold and kind of awkward and you have to sit for a while.  But your fat cells are dying, so DUH...WORTH IT.

As I was having treatment on my gigantic muffin basket (other people might have a muffin top, mine is a muffin basket), the positioning is a bit awkward.  You sit up in a treatment chair, padded with pillows, but it isn't easy to get totally comfortable for an hour-long sit with a large cold vacuum cleaner attached to your side fat.  It isn't uncomfortable either, just bring a blackberry or ipad or sit and read some magazines.  I had a coffee and entertained my beloved friends and family with a running Zeltiq commentary.  And also some commentary on a product I found at the drugstore called Sphincterine, but back to that later.

Treatment lasts an hour per side.  When the flesh is released from the giant grip of the super-sucking Zeltiq machine it feels cold and deadened, and then they massages it a bit.  I forgot to ask why they massage it, but Dr. Boey's Jen is the Fat Killer so I know it does something valuable.  The massage is a bit uncomfortable but nothing like the application of the cold pad.

The skin comes out reddened and cold, but not harmed in any way.  Over the evening it continued to feel a little chilly and like the sensation was a little dulled.  The feeling comes back...for some people it takes as long as two weeks.  I'm a little bruised today, but not bad at all.  I always sleep on one of those Warm Buddy microwave heat packs (yes, including in the summer...) but I was afraid last night to put it on my back in case the skin was temporarily deadened enough to not feel if it was too hot.  Besides, I didn't want to risk the warmth letting any fat cells spring back to life from the throes of cryo-lipo-death.

It looks like the pics below this morning.  A little reddened, a little swollen.  It still feels a bit deadened, but nothing serious.

And yes, I know my ass is EPIC fat.  I'm back to yoga but not to Barre and cardio yet until the abdominal muscles are fully healed.  The iron bruising is ugly, but it will go away eventually.  I thank Dr. Verma every day for fixing my anemia...a few butt bruises are a small price to pay.

WARNING:  NAKED SCAR PHOTOS FOLLOW.  DON'T READ PAST HERE IF THIS WILL BOTHER YOU, OR IF IT DOES, SHUT UP AND DON'T TELL ME ABOUT IT.  YOU KNOW I WONT CARE ABOUT YOUR LITTLE OFFENDED FEELINGS.  THIS IS A SURGERY BLOG.

Sooooo, lots of mentions of how long its been since I posted on the healing process.  There just isn't much visual difference in the early months post-abdominoplasty.  From 6 weeks to 3 or 4 months the changes are too small to notice photographically.  I had a great photographer over Christmas too, but it would be kind of weird to ask everyone that comes to visit if they could take some scar pics for my blog.  So, here's a few poor-quality ones I took myself this morning:

The one below looks a little chubbier than usual because the flank / waist area of my body is a bit swollen from being sucked into the Zeltiq machine  yesterday.  The breast-scars and abdominal countour are the purpose of these pics though.  The breast scarring is healing much faster than I exepected even.  Most of the swelling is gone from the stomach area now.  It takes a full 6 months for it to be entirely gone...I'm still a little bit more swollen on the left side of the abdomen than the right.

This one shows the red / purple color of the abdominoplasty scar.  For those that have followed closely, note how much it has smoothed / evened out over the last month, and how clean and neat the end is.  The 'dog ear' part of the abdominoplasty close is really not a problem for me at all, at least not on this side.  The bit of Zeltiq swelling is really quite clear in a picture this close, but it will be gone in a few days...I swell from anything.

Yesterday was a major day at Dr. Boey's though.  After the Zeltiq I had laser hair removal in the bikini area.  Eek.  All the Arbutus Laser staff are angels though, and Julie the hair removal lady is no exception.  I'm not insane enough to do bikini without EMLA freezing cream though.  And when I was at the drugstore to buy EMLA, LOOK what I found right near the micropore tape:

Yes, it is Sphincterine ass-tringent.  For a minty-fresh butt.  Ummm...for what purpose would people want a minty fresh butt?  There's even a website http://www.mintyass.com/.  Naturally I had to buy it, as a few lucky members of Boxhead's family will soon be receiving a care package of Sphincterine in the mail.

Love you all darlings.  This time I really will post updates in the next few weeks...probably at 2, 4, 6 and 8 weeks post Zeltiq.  Its FAT MELTING...who wouldn't want to know.

Boxhead

4 Weeks!!!

Sorry Darlings I know its been a while since Boxhead's last post, but things have just been so BUSY.

4 weeks since the surgery now.  I'm half way through the time of using the beautiful compression garment, 3/4s of the way to being able to go back to active yoga, and really, REALLY happy with the results:

In case any of you are wondering why the belly button incision still looks kind of red, its because it has to be streteched all the time in order to heal round as the incision scar tissue grows.  Ordinarily people wear a marble taped in their belly button.  Mine is a little too small for the marble to fit, so I've switched to a lip balm cap.  One reader will recognize the lip balm that the cap comes from, as she's been trying to steal it for the last few years.  Ha, now there's no cap! :)

The breasts are still D's, or at least in about two thirds of the bras I try on.  While there's still a tiny bit of swelling left that will gradually go over the next six months, they're pretty close to their real size now.  Apparently the smallest of the cohesive gel implants ends up being a full C / small D on my frame size.  They look quite normal though, not stripperesque.  If they looked like stripper breasts we'd be taking the implant out and starting over. 

Speaking of stripperesque, Boxhead went to the Taboo show on the weekend, hoping to see a huge presence from Liberator and all their lovely cushions and other products.  I was also expecting a whole range of nice, high quality restraints and leashed collars to keep Boxhead away from drugs and fatty foods in the next surgery.  NO!  It was an epic DISASTER.  End to end the show was like a bargain bin reject sale at some Ozark cousin-lovin' version of Frederick's of Hollywood.  Dollar-store nightmare.  Shudder.  Predictably, Boxhead scuttled out quickly.  

To console myself over the hideousity of the Taboo show, Boxhead got THIS at my 4 week checkup!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YES Angels it IS a short-scar facelift quote!!!!! I do recognize that few of you cheap b*tches actually voted for a facelift so far.  You didn't really think that Boxhead would pay attention if you voted against the things I wanted, did you?  And before you flood the comments with counseling referrals, deep breath.  A short-scar facelift is a PREVENTATIVE surgery, not a Nancy-Regan-style old lady facelift.  Short-scar facelifts are a teeny procedure that deals with the underlying facial musculature, helping people to not NEED an actual real facelift for another 20 years or so.  I'm not saying I'm doing it tomorrow.  I just adore getting quotes for plastic surgery.  Next visit I may get a vaser sculpting quote too.

Hyper-careful, ultra-cautious eating continues. Not that I wasn't a bit of a vegetable freak before the surgery, but I'm all the more conscious of nutrition now.  For the first time in memory I LIKE how I look, and I don't want to mess it up by eating the wrong foods.  Yes, we all know that Boxhead has a tendency to be just the *tiniest* bit obsessive, but this is what I used to look like in my imagination:



Even I have to recognize that I don't look exactly like that now.  To me, the improvement in self-image outweighs the slightly psycho focus on nutrition and caloric intake.   I am careful...I use the UDSA's food pyramid tracker to follow my energy burn and food intake, and I have a precious food-cop keeping a sharp eye on whether or not I'm eating enough. 

One set of early scar photos is up on the lipofat site, I'll post more tonight and then carry on with that about weekly (or maybe every two weeks if the changes are really minor) for those that want to see the scars and are considering their own surgeries.  Remember, DON'T GO TO LIPOFAT if you aren't up for seeing the early-stage scar pics.  

http://cybersatanlipofat.blogspot.com/

Love, more soon.

XOXOXO

Boxhead

Adventures in Botox-land

Today Boxhead went to the lovely Dr. Boey at Arbutus Laser Centre for botox and to pick up some of the many creams, lotions and potions necessary to keep my cardboard face supple and moisturized and healthy.  Here Dr Boey is protecting Boxhead from developing one of those nasty corrugated frown lines that is such a problem for boxes.  This may be Boxhead's first botox injection, but like surgery it assuredly won't be the last.

It will surprise few of you that Boxhead subscribes to the e-mail newsletters of all the top Canadian and US plastic surgeons.  I like to keep pace with new procedures, who is doing how many procedures combined into one, what new techniques are being introduced, etc.

Naturally, as a superfattie, the new Zerona weight loss laser is one (among the several options) that caught my eye in a recent newsletter.  I'm woman enough to admit I was wrong in my former approach to liposuction - I ADORE it.  Still, whereever its possible to lose some of the chubb in a closed, painless, non-surgical procedure, all the better, no?  There's just soooooo many surgical rules and lame protocols about how often a patient can have lipo and how much fat can be taken at a time...yawn.  Meanwhile, Zerona is used in conjunction with a medically-supervised supplement named "Curva" which they claim will collectively skim ugly fat deposits from the body and reveal its true shape!!!   I've always thought it would take an excavator to reveal Boxhead's true shape, but perhaps not.

It always amuses me when companies don't bother to do a basic word-search.  I google Curva to learn more, and the VERY FIRST THING I find is that curva is the Romanian word for slut.  Well, excellent! In Russian, it is the slightly more nuanced bitch-slut.  Regardless, if Curva works, Boxhead would have no qualms walking up to the pharmacist and asking for my prescription of Bitch-Slut without batting a botoxed eye.  If something helps in weight loss, call it anything other than Rachel Uchitel.  That would be going too far, even for fat liquefication.

Boxhead likes to have a mental image to associate with products.  A beloved and VERY brave reader took the risk of permanent mind scarring by searching "fat Romanian sluts" to find and give us this picture:

Even I will accept that I am slightly slimmer than this person.  Still, it is a nice image that will help to keep Curva top of mind for our next surgical visits.

No matter what Zerona / Bitch Slut or the range of other fat loss lasers out there might do for me, Boxhead is also impressed with the copycat products available on the internet.   You know there's some efficacy when there are copycats.  Without so much as a prescription OR the accompanying laser treatments, "Curva Trim" (look it up) promises a 3 pound per week weight loss PLUS clearer skin, larger, firmer breasts AND improved libido and sexual functioning, all for $39.95, or $100 for a multi-bottle supply.  3 pounds a week!!!!  How could we not believe in this?? And I could lose 10 lbs before I'm even allowed to go back to working out after the abdominoplasty.  Exciting, no?  At least as an alternative until more of you change your votes to vaser sculpting.

Love you Angels,

XOXO

Boxhead

Tape Removal. The Scars are Awesome!

15 days and life is gradually returning to normal.  Or more-normal compared with the last two weeks.

The surgical tapes came off today and I'm simply overjoyed with the results.  As soon as I can I'll take some good scar photos for those of you that are considering similar surgery and post them on the lipofat site.  For now here's one (not showing scars) taken at the follow-up appointment.  I'm swollen still, and the skin is kind of mottled and lined from the compression garment, but still.  I'm happy:

For 15 days, the abdominal and breast scars are incredible...surgical artwork really.  They're fine and relatively smooth and will heal to almost invisible.  I start three months of silicone scar therapy now, which helps them to heal flat and smooth and small.  It takes 6-9 months to complete the healing process, and if its needed then I can get some lasering or other procedures to help the scars disappear even more.  From what it looks like today though I probably won't need it.  Yay.  In a week I'll also start to round my belly button back out by taping a marble in it for a few hours every day.  Sounds silly, but it really works.  That's how all belly buttons are made round again after surgery.

Soon I can go back to compulsive exercise and street drugs and of course that rough loving that keeps my butt so bruised all the time.  ;)  You can decide which one(s) of those to believe.

Boxhead had to celebrate the magnificent scar findings by keeping up the good nutrition that is so critical to healing.  Mojitos and a salad, naturally:

Still terrified of the fat content in anything more than an apple though, Boxhead went to Whole Foods and bought...can you guess...apples!

As you can see, the breast swelling is going down nicely and I look normal rather than like a cartoon character.  And NO, seeing boxes out shopping at Whole Foods is not cartoonish - its just daily life.  You people don't get out enough.

Love and kisses darlings,

Boxhead

Two Weeks Today! This Time An Actual Surgical Update

14 days from this very minute, surgery had started and I was on my way to the most amazing makeover of my life.  I had wanted this surgery for so many years, but didn't understand really how fabulous it was going to make me feel.  This picture of the stomach above the belly button is from yesterday.  There's still swelling and distortion...that will last several weeks yet...but to me it looks amazing.

Two weeks.  The liquor embargo is over today, so technically I could be snarfing down the Breakfast of Booze from Epic Meal Time (http://www.youtube.com/user/EpicMealTime#p/u/4/wZDv9pgHp8Q  this is offensive, don't visit unless you're amused by really gross foods being prepared by an overbearing ass). 

Liquor is off-limits for four weeks perisurgically; peri meaning around so two weeks before and two weeks after, as it increases bleeding and bruising.  Boxhead has been 4 WEEKS without a mojito, which previously was my natural source of hydration.  The DTs and other withdrawal symptoms at the beginning weren't so bad.  Now I'm not sure if Boxhead can go back to indulging myself Hoff-style because of the calorie impact. 

Its still another four weeks (6 weeks total) until I can go back to full exercise, using salt and using recreational street drugs and nicotine.  Any kind of lifting exercise could harm the inside healing within my breasts and stomach, and we don't need that.  Street drugs and cigarettes can cause necrosis (death) of the healing skin, and that isn't an attractive concept either.  Salt increases post-op swelling, and the swelling that comes from procedures this extensive is really quite enough without salt.

I can forego the street drugs and cigarettes and can even (with difficulty) stay off salty foods, but I can't be entirely without exercise.  So, naturally, Boxhead has come up with a clever plan!   As the pain (discomfort) has subsided, I have been experimenting with exercises that only engage the leg and butt muscles...plies and grande plies (ballet squats), the warrior poses and similar.  Yes, it looks ridiculous still being a little bent-over from the abdominal surgery and doing plies, but nobody sees me and this way my leg and glute muscles don't lose tone.  I want them toned for when I get that thigh and butt lipo.

Now, for those of you whose fingers are already itching to start in with with suspicious electronic lectures accusing me of violating the post-op rules, Boxhead HAS checked with her surgeon's office. HA! Provided the exercise doesn't engage the abdominal muscles or in any way affect the pectorals and breast lift / implants, its fine.  Granted, its a little early, but it isn't like I'm doing hours of these exercises yet.  Its good to be active.  God, some people that get this surgery are still languishing around in a painkiller haze...I suspect these are valium freaks though using surgery as a way to gain access to a new drug.  I would seriously kill myself if I couldn't be a little bit active.  Sure I get tired easily, but tired is better than suicide ideation, no?

The surgical tapes (steri-strips or micropore tape that protects the incisions) are starting to loosen.  These usually remain in place for about 12 days, and given that its the weekend I don't have a follow up appointment until tomorrow.  Late last night I cut away some of the loose ends of surgical tape, and the small areas of incision that were revealed are astoundingly kick-ass.  Smooth and nice and narrow.  No rumpled area at all on the far left side and the teeniest one on the right, which is evidence of such careful surgical close.  Normally the furthest edges of an abdominoplasty closure appear as a little 'dog-eared' at the start, and then gradually smooth out over 6-9 months post-op.  We'll see what the rest of the incision looks like tomorrow and I'll post photos on the Lipofat site for those that want to look.  Of course its a big incision that goes from hip to hip, and it won't be pretty until it fades away to just a thin white line.  But in the realm of abdominoplasty incisions, this one looks awesome.

The breast tapes also come off tomorrow, so I'll be able to see how the peri-areolar incisions are too.  That's the kind that heals best, with the least visible scarring over time.  I really didn't want the frankenstein-style major breast lift scarring, but since I luckily didn't ever have major breasts I could get away with the around-the-nipple style of operation.  For those of you that may be contemplating a larger breast lift procedure, even the scary-assed frankenstein scars do fade over time.  And scars just open up another surgical or treatment avenue:  scar revisions, scar lasering, etc.

I honestly couldn't be happier.  Even this far in, the surgery makes me feel so much better about me.  When I tried on bras the other day, I actually felt attractive (exhausted, but attractive) and I don't know if I've ever felt that way before.  Certainly not in many years.  Even though I'm still swollen and a little bruised and taped up, I feel so much better...its like having years of therapy AND magically looking better at the same time.  Yes, there is a few weeks of discomfort, and a few days of mild actual pain, and then about 6 weeks to complete recovery.  WORTH IT.

I've heard of so many people languishing around complaining about pain, spending a week or two in recovery, using ice to stop the throbbing of their breasts etc etc.  I totally understand that people have different pain thresholds (or, stated differently, that many people are whiners).  I'm the first to support a hard morning's bitching and complaining whenever it makes sense.  This combo surgery is the biggest one there is short of reconstruction-style extreme makeovers, and it genuinely hasn't been been bad at ALL.  For those of you that want this operation (and I know at least four of you do), pain should be the least of your concerns.  Unless of course you are whiners that have cleverly managed to conceal that side of yourself from me all these years. 

Pictures later today and then again tomorrow after the tape removal.

Last thing, an update on the endometrial ablation from earlier in December.  LADIES, DO THIS.  IF YOU HAVE TO FABRICATE A FEMALE PROBLEM, GET IT DONE! I'm having my first post-ablation 'period' and it is seriously nothing.  People aren't even supposed to realize the full results of an ablation for 3 months or so until the uterus is entirely healed, but for me it is incredible.  I can't even imagine how good it will be 3 months from now.  Best thing ever, thank you my heroes Dr. V and Dr. W.
Love,

Boxhead

Superlardaliciousgrotescumongousbesasaurouslyfattitacularogroposus Obesity

Yes, it should be a word!  I am so superlardaliciouslygrotescumongousbesasaurouslyfattitacularogroposusly overweight that my skin is peeling, no lie!!  The stretched skin on my abdomen and massive breasts is actually peeling lightly, kind of what you'd get from a light sunburn.  Sure, I realize that swelling might be making some tiiiiiiiiny contribution to the peeling, but I assert that most of the cause is pure superlardaliciousness.  It is only logical that Boxhead would be getting fatter by the day from not exercising...I'm beginning to contemplate scheduling some thigh and butt lipo even before the recovery from the current surgery is over.

Today was fun though, and the first day that I felt a little more mobile.  First Boxhead had the weekly iron shot...fun.  A nice wide bore-needle of viscous iron serum into the butt.  As if the rest of me isn't bruised enough.  Even my doctor makes jokes about Boxhead having a "man that likes some rough loving" because of the the perpetual injection bruising on my butt.  A fatty like me needs huge amounts of iron to survive though, despite the fact that I'm constantly snarfing down sides of beef, prime ribs and other products of similar meaty goodness.  The only way to keep up with the iron demands of a body of this girth is through injections.  As Boxhead has no intention of showing her perma-bruised butt, here's a picture of the needle!

From there it was off to have my glorious hair done, a bi-weekly process to nurture Boxhead's soul and ensure that no roots are EVER visible.  Nothing tackier than roots.  And yes Angels, Boxhead is willing to show pictures of almost anything except her bruised butt and in-process hair coloring.

After my hair was done I carried on the day's adventure by trying on bras to see what size was needed to contain my cartoonishly mammoth breasts at this stage of their swelling. They will go down to a proper, normal size in another two weeks or so, but for now they're entertaining. I'm used to the kind of bras that don't really have cups so much, just a vague suggestion of potential unflatness to the area where a cup would be.  Now I'm choosing bras that could be used as a cunning new missile defense system, or a hangar for Air Force I.  These things are HUGE.

Boxhead has never been able to have pretty, fancy bras because they just don't make them in -AA.  Bra designers totally snub the less-than-A-cup people (and boxes).  Now the whole world of bra splendor is open to me!  They're so pretty.  The C's seem far too big though, and even the B cups look like a whole lot of bra, so I grabbed several 34Bs and a few 34Cs and headed for the changeroom.  Ha!! the B cups that looked so big can't begin to contain the overflowing abundance of breast.  Not a chance.  Fail.  There's a lot of variation across the size of the C-cup bras, but still. Fail, other than one.  Red-faced, I slink out to gather D-cups...I can't actually ask a shopgirl for something that large.  These ones fit.  I know its swelling, but I'M A D-CUP.  It has been well established that I am a superfattie, but D-cup breasts are cartoonishly behemoth even on my lardassed frame.  Unimaginable. 

Noting that this is NOT the final size, here for amusement are some pictures of Boxhead wearing D's.  Prettier than the surgical bra, no?  Excuse the peekthroughs of surgical tape, but this is after all a surgical blog.

Naturally, it is hard to tell how much of this is swelling, how much is fat, and how much is the metabolic impact of the Doritos mashed with creme soda that I had for breakfast. 

It was windy today, so I wore jeans.  I was afraid to put them on, thinking that they wouldn't fit over the compression binder and the post-op swelling and the failure would make me feel even fatter.  Now jeans to me means waist size 240, not the teeny little sizes that the rest of you wear.  They DID fit though, and easily!!! The binder might be uncomfortable as all hell (although less every day), but it does compress all my fat into some kind of shape and make it possible to put on jeans even over the swelling.  Yay!  I may get used to it, and then need to wear those pretty corset / waist cincher things all the time once my time with binder garment draws to a close.

Other than bra shopping, I didn't bother looking at much else.  70% off sales do nothing for Boxhead.  If I didn't want something at full price, I surely to God don't want it when its been pawed over, marked down, and is almost out of season anyway.  Bring on the spring merchandise Babies, Boxhead is going to have the body for it.

So, then it was time for coffee, and then home.  I was out for HOURS.  My first real lengthy excursion since the surgery.

Boxhead will be at home for New Year's Eve.  While I love all other occasions for parties there are few things more revolting than midnight kisses from unknown freaks.  I can't stand being touched by strangers, let alone kissed.  Unpleasant.  Plus, the whole New Year's thing is lame...the resolutions, the starting over.  I resolve to be myself in 2011, unchanged other than by surgery.  I love me, so why change?

Love yourselves too Angels and Happy New Year.  The surgical tape comes off next week, and then we can begin with proper post-op photography.

Boxhead